dis is ttly not a my immortal parody
by XXIKILLDEATH666XXX
Summary: Not a parody of My Immortal. Not done while bored and under the influence of hyperactivity. We are not fjucking prepz. Clearly.
1. Chapter 1

A/N fanks to my caterpillar for da help wiv da spellin. i luv you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

my name is spidellicia morticia midnight cruella lestrange-malfoy riddle. my parents are lucius bellatrix and vlodemort (they had a threesome okay!)

i have waste lenth raven black hair wiv red bit in it like blood.i am very tall and thin and most ppl think im anorexic. I have blood red eyes with long eyelashes and they can read ppls minds. i'm not reely anorexic. i joost hav a pirfect figure. i wear lots of black an i hav been mistaken for marilyn mansons prostitute. my favrite bands r MCR GC and evaneescencee.

i am a witch and god and i go to hogwarts skwl near canbridge. coz I'm a goff and I'm attracted to def. im not related to def but i wish i was becos i want to fuck his lights out. i want to him too put his thinggyy in my u know what.

i woke up on monday and killed somebody because i dont like mondays. I goot out of my coffin nd drank sum blood fram the fial neer bye .

i put on black lipstick and a relly short skirt and a top wiv mcr on it. i then tied my slytherdor tie (i had to be put into a new house for slytherin and gryffindoor becos im too talented to just be in one. i also am clever enuff to be a ravencllaw). and put on some thigh high pointy boots. im ttly not a whore.

i met draco outsside the slythendor common room (he changed houses so he cud be wiv me cos he loves me) and we frenched passively liek animols. hes not actually my brther because as it was a threesome only vlodermots thingy actually went into bellatriixs you-know-what. lucius just luvs me like a daughter.

i went down to the gr8 hall for sum vamp-coco pops. you fcking preps " I shooted to some wannabe gothics. and then i saw my best frend hermoine puckle. she is a vampire queen of translvania. she isnt a mudblud anymore bcos vlodemort change her blud by magic. she's a goff liek me . she has sleek shiny hair which is black as da dark. she cud do shampoo adverts but they are for fuckin prepz. she wa etin her coco pops on the slythendor tabl. most of the cool ppl in hogwarts were all changed 2 slythendor wen it was created.

i tipped out my cunt chocula and ate hermoine ate sum chedder as she is da dairy queen of satan and needs to consume milk based producs.

den...

i gasped

fred and george wesly just askd me to a GC concert!11111

i want mor dan 5 good revoiws or else i'm noot continoouing !


	2. Chapter 2

a/n stup flamin da srtoy you fuckin perps!1!111 nd i faking flame u caterpillar! u stole ma marlyn manson posterr this is nothin leik my immortal okay i never eeven red it before now. they have diffeerent names and everyfing and my chactoor is god but enoby is a vampiir!111111 i am nut conitnuing until i get 3945858849803389 gud reviows!11111!

i woka up next mornin feelin vry sad. i cried sexily and slit mah rists reely wanted to go to da concert wiv fred and goorge but i was wiv draco!1111 "those fjuckin posder preps!1" i shouteed depressivly. "they know im with draco why do they keep wanting me!11/1/?" "WHY AM I SO PERFECT ITS A CURSE FROM STATAN!11" (btw spidellicia isnt a pig headed bitch she just knows shes flawleess in all wayz)

i went down to da dungeeooons wiv had potshuns. i was reely exsited becos im in love wiv profeser snap. She wass wering a short skirt whv a blood red lacey corsett i was ewring sexy undeerweear. i had da slythendor logo (a pentagram geddit) on my cheek and lots of eyeliner my hair was down my back all sezy like. "hello every1" sed professer snap gorgosly. i culd see him getting a boner becos i was not wearin very much. im not a slut i just wanted to impreess snap.'

"2day we are makin MCR potshuns" he said. "these will help u learn the words to MCR songs"  
>i got rlly new dat snap lstened to MCR? "OH MY FUCKIN STATN" i shouted. the clasp oof mah braa opened up a bit.i felt myself go all hot and tingly but i didnt get an erectiin becos im a girl.<p>

snap had 1 though. he cam up to mah and smwiled "detention spidelicia.."  
>i wos horrifeid. I gsspd. how dare he giv me detentiun just 4 being in luv!"11?.i made da potshun wass so hot but i dunno why he give me detntion. fter dat i sobbbmed smexily.<br>draco came up to me. "whats wrong" he asked suicidely. "NOTHINGS WRONG YOU FUCKIN BUGGERBALLS PREP" i screamed in a sexy way.

i stormed off to my rroom to wait for an apology. why was draco all in my face all of da time!1? hermoine cam up to meh "guess what?" she skweeled. "dracooo just sked me to da MCR concert!" Iwas so jealoos coz draco is mah bfriend "FUCKINM FUCK OFF YOU FUCKER" i yelled and cried like a bootiful pictur. so i slit mah wrists becoz i was angry to draco and hermoine. i felt like ophelia in hamlet becos i was so depressed.

i lay down on my bed and wathced a depressing tim burton film like charlie and da chotlate factry. "MY LIFE IS DA WURST IN DA WHOLE WORLD!11" i screemed.  
>suddddenly..<br>snap came up to me!111 he was floowed by dumbeldooor and flitprick and loooping and haggar.

snape put his"i cam up here to check on you spidellicia becos you seemed upset" he sed sadly. suddenleh mah whole braa came out. he goggled my boobs. i cud see his erecshun again.

fliprick and dumbelldoor looked on in horror at my exposhed chest. "CUVER URSELF UP YOU MEDIORCAR IMBECELE"  
>flitdick yelled.. snap poot his thingy in mah u-know-what. then a giany bat flew in from da widnow... it wasnt a bat at all it was a scary man wiv no nose.<br>it was... VOLGERMORT !

remember if i dunt get good revows i will slit mah rists!111 nd den i wont be abla to updatteee !


End file.
